note: I use x-large font size for my own eyesight - thanks for tolerating
I am trying to find myself and find love, mythology being one of the significant tools I use, often in research. As a true Christian, I live right on the border between two worlds, the inner possessing simpler theistic acceptance of the often magical truths shown to us by the angels and higher dream workers, the outer being a more heavenly expanse of space and time but being a place where its people are challenged enough just to be loving to their own spouses. As a theurgist, I am using mythology to correct and upgrade the quality of my theism, and have been finding some stories helping me to stand up to some of the challenges of the outer world.
I believe these challenges pertain to parallel universes, or more accurately, parallel multiverses (even recursions, a term made authoritative by gamer Bruce R. Cordell). When a person like myself chooses the path of theurgical ascension, he or she begins the work of cleansing and strengthening his or her own universe. Much like house cleaning, this means we search for the proper place for anything we are through with, be it trash, compost, yard sale, flea market. As I approach being a more wakeful me, I am becoming aware of tensions between and amongst alternative versions of reality, and so I want to try to spell out some ideas I have about where exactly I am in the scope of it all.
The border between virtue and vice (good and evil) for so many of us is found at the lunar level of the universe, which is where a group of us are here on Earth. Earth is a planet, but there are apparently at least two ways in which a person can work with salvation at the lunar level: on Earth's moon itself or here from Earth. Studying the universe as I have, I find Justification to be the basic work where we are, Sanctification being more truly planetary, Glorification being stellar, and Celebration being galactic (Sagittarius A*, the black hole at the core of the Milky Way).
At the root, Justification can be a lonely effort; it so often has each of us attending to our own private business. However, even here we do have interpersonal love. Angelic Sanctification is more truly where men and women enjoy each other, but we have our connections down here, which we cherish when they are more virtuous than vicious. As I study mythology, I find many stories of love, which as a theurgist in his own universe I am becoming better able to identify either as representations of my own love life or as templates to creatively apply if helpfully.
The last time I updated this site, I drunkenly spilled out a story of love in my own life which is very significantly referenced in Ursula K. LeGuin's Earthsea. I need not repeat the name of the woman, as my only marriage with her is inward of here where I am, while the Internet is such a very external medium that I would be want of verity in the repetition of the story. However, I will refer to her as Tenar of the Ring (of Erreth-Akbe), the love of Wizard Ged's life in Ursula's stories.
I have reached a place in love where I can comprehend internal polyamory yet intend to maintain respect outwardly for any of the women who are kind enough to choose me as a partner. I feel that my expressions of love interest, both vocally and now through remote media, call for some work in the way of bringing perspective to the complexity in our potential relations. Thus do I introduce my present interest in Tehanu.
There are so many factors in the complexity of my love life presently, but I believe I have achieved personal focus in honesty with my own priorities. My final “slip-up” was in relation to Solar love. I do recognize four Solar love-mates, but the context of this recognition is more Earthly than Mercurial. I will work the correction of priority, because I am truly a Mercurial. My Angel, I'm told, is Mercurial as well, and our relationship is Mercurial.
Earthly spying on and into our love lives has acquired information that is not meant to be prematurely advertised. Those of us who are visiting Earth from Mercury are fairer with each other than is the local norm. Earth indulges a degree of cheating that is not our contribution who are closer to the focus of interpersonal love than this planet has.
Ursula K. LeGuin has great integrity and fidelity in her way of sharing story. However, the placement of my primary Angel in the role of Tehanu, where Ged and Flint's love for Tenar, and Lebannen's gentle love for Seserakh, seem to have priority in her way of telling the story of my love life, might be questionable. I don't need to spell out the names of the two women involved, but I know my own choice where truest truth be told.